I Speak Fly Fishing

Photo by Dave Merwin

It had been a long day. I could see it in his shoulders. The weight of the past month had taken its toll, and he moved slower. More deliberate. As if his waders were heavier than usual. It had been everything to him. His world was undone when it was over. I asked how he had done tonight. He only replied, “I hooked a few.” Good, he was still in the fight.

Fly fishers share an ancient language from the river. It’s an expressive language if you understand how to read it. As a child, fishing with my grandfather, I didn’t understand it at all. It wasn’t until much later that I realized what was being said by my dad and my grandfather when we spoke of fishing. Once I understood, I felt blessed. As if I now had the keys to a secret society. If you have a fly fisher in your life, I will explain some phrases that might be helpful to you.

Before I do, you need to understand the world that fly fishing comes from. Fisherman LOVE to give advice. They will tell each other precisely what is wrong with a cast, a choice of fly, or if you’ve entered the pool wrong. If they are talking to you at all, it means they care about you—at least a little bit. When a fly fisher stops talking to you, then you need to worry.

“I need to go fishing.” Usually said with a sigh or with slight desperation in their voice. This means that they long for water and a break from life. We are all made to have a sabbath. Working hard brings us joy, but we need to rest too. So if a friend says, “ I need to go fishing,” you should take them. They need a break, and bad things happen when we don’t take breaks. If your friend’s partner says that your friend needs to go fishing, well, you had better drop everything and take them. This means that they have been an ass at home and need to take a break whether they want to or not.

“ I caught so many fish, I lost count.” First, you need to know it’s a lie. We all count, and we all know how many fish we caught. I’ve had days where I’ve caught fish on every cast, and the total was over 100. This phrase is simply saying that they are full of joy. They have drunk from the river, and they have had their fill. They’ve had a rich experience, and they are ready to return to society.

“I’m going to head to the shop and pick up some leaders.” This one means that they need their people. They need to be around others that they understand and that understand them. This is usually said on a Friday or Saturday morning that they are not going fishing on. They’ve probably had a tough week and just need to be made fun of by people that care about them but don’t know them well enough to actually make fun of them.

“How’d ya do?” Usually said on the walk back to the car. It means I care about you and want to know how you are doing. Tell me about your fishing, but maybe tell me about your life as well. I think that “How’d ya do” has led to more deep trail talks than perhaps any other phrase. It’s the key to deeper conversations that open connections between people.

“What flies you using?” or “What’cha getin em on?” You’ve come to a delicate moment in a fisherperson’s life. They are admitting to you that they can’t seem to make this work. They are at the ends of their rope and want help. Whenever a friend asks me this, I will take the time to show them and even give them a few of the same flies just so that they are taken care of. And at the end of the day, if they offer to give the flies back, I always refuse. If you were brave enough to ask, you deserve to keep the flies.

“Look at those idiots.” I say this a lot. I think I am better than those fisherfolk, and how dare they impede on my sacred ground. They are outsiders and don’t deserve to be here. Recently I was fishing the Middle Deschuettes in Oregon, and we came to a popular hole that had too many people around. There was one other fly fisherman, and he was where we wanted to be. There was a feeling of resentment and distrust immediately. I hated this man, and I knew nothing about him. But then he did the strangest thing. He said hello and GAVE UP HIS SPOT SO MY BUDDY COULD HAVE IT! Read that sentence again. He gave up his spot. Just to be nice. Was this an angel? Some being from another world? It blew my mind. We had a great night catching fish and making a new friend. Not sure what to make of all that. Emotionally healthy people are scary as hell.

A fly fishers phrases all essentially seek the same thing. To connect. If you keep that in mind you will be able to help your friend out when they ask you a question or share a story. They are trying to connect, trying to build something real—however, a word of warning. There is a dark side.

They might think that those other fisherfolk are idiots. They might just want to know what kind of fly you are using, and they might just be out of leaders. They might also just want to brag when they tell you they lost count of all the fish they caught. Sometimes it’s clear what’s happening. Sometimes, you just suck and can’t catch any fish.

In my twenties, I began to navigate these subtleties in my own family. And I learned the language of fly fishers from my family. We spoke fo adventures shared and separate. We were always a little envious when we heard the stories others told about fish they had caught. I live on the west coast because I grew up hearing stories of Oregon and the Idiot Bridge. I wanted that adventure to be a part of my life. But, in some odd way, more than anything I wanted to be respected. I wanted the subtext of what we shared to be that they respected me and had joined the club. That I was worthy to speak the language.

Now, thirty years later, we still talk about fishing. And there are new layers. They include kids and those that have passed. We fill our days by thinking about the flies that John would have used in that pool, or what Pop would have said about that cast. We are thrilled when the kids discover fishing and want nothing more for them than to move west and have new adventures because we know, deep down, that the best way to learn a language is to live with the natives.